Dear Santa...

Last night, my Mom handed me a stack of old papers, drawings, books and projects of mine from kindergarten through high school and asked me to go through them to see what I wanted to keep and what I wanted to throw away. I found all kinds of things, most of them hilarious.

Most fun (because of its seasonal nature and the hilarious, sweet, honest and tender things we wrote) is a newspaper insert of letters to Santa Claus, written by elementary school kids around my age. A lot of them are from my class at Winton Elementary, and some are friends to this day. I wanted to post a few because they are either sweet, a blast from the past, or just plain funny. Enjoy!

First, mine:

Dear Santa,
I believe in you. I live on 929 Davidson. You will not hear us because we will be sleeping downstairs. Santa, do you have Rudolph, the red-nosed reindeer. I love you. Santa, can you bring me Go, Go, My Walking Pup? It is white. It has a pink leash.
DARCY ANDERSON, Age 6

Cute enough, eh? Here are a few more that I liked:

Dear Santa,
I saw you the other night on TV watching Amazing Stories II the movie. It showed you having to crawl in a window since the chiminey had a grate over it. The people though you were a burglar since you set off their burglar alarm and were sent to jail.
Was that your first arrest, Santa? Have you been in jail before? Were you running late that night since you were in jail? Just wondering. I hope you have a Merry Christmas.
JOY ANNA JUNG, Age 10

Dear Santa,
I wish you were real. I wish! I wish! I wish! I wish! I wish!
MIKE, First Grade

Dear Santa,
You aren't real. But I want a NES, 100 NES games, a TV, a power glove, a U force, a power pad, and a Nes advantage. You're just a bit fat beer belly. But a want those things.
ZACK, Age 9

Something tells me this Zack didn't get what he wanted from Santa. Call me crazy... Funny. But even more funny and cute are the confessions and questions. Here are the best:

Dear Santa,
I am Justin. My brother is killing all the gerbils, and he is putting them in cages...
JUSTIN VEENHUIS, Age 7

Dear Santa,
My name is Michael. I like to play. My sister, Brenda, is mean...
MICHAEL STEPHENSON, Age 7

Dear Santa,
...Do you eat spinach on Sunday? I want a pillow for Christmas because my dog tore my big Santa pillow up.
KATIE SIZEMORE, Age 6

Dear Santa,
...I have been forgetting to put down pound puppy and now that I remembered I am to old for a pound puppy.
SHANNON

Dear Santa,
...I want a baseball bat because I accidentally broke our baseball bat...
BRIAN HAMMOND, Age 6

Dear Santa,
...I want a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle because this morning I obeyed my mom.
JESSE WAHL, Age 6

Dear Santa,
...I think you're a bowl full of jelly... Are you a VIP?...
MELISSA HUTCHENS, Age 6

Dear Santa,
How many horses are there in the whole world?...
MELISSA GOEDDE, Age 8

Dear Santa,
How cool you are. I now someone hoo hates you.
I like you so there's hundreds of kids and parents that like you... You now Santa your so cool dood. I can get you a present for Christmas. I like you.
JEROME, Age 8

Dear Santa,
I have been trying to be good. Like I did last year. But my sisters been rouening my life.
NO NAME

Dear Santa,
I want a stuffed bear, a Barbie set, and my dad's leg to feel better so he can go back to work. I wish my sister Crystal would stop being mean to me.
Thank you, Santa. I love you.
LISA HERGERT

Dear Santa,
...Santa I have a ? for you. I promise I will not tell anyone. My ? is ...What is your phone nuber?
KATIE ROETTER, Age 8

Dear Santa,
...I am being a little good and a little bad... Is there such a thing as magic corn?
MICHAEL CAMPAGNA, Age 6

More favorites -- the funny gift requests:

Dear Santa,
...Could I please have a hovercraft?
ZACHARY KITCHEN, Age 6

Dear Santa,
...My wish list: I would like a satellite dish, I would like a 5,000,000 in a one day savings bond, I would a mountain bike, and a mansion filled with $90,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 in cash.
RUSTY, Age 8

Dear Santa,
I like you a lot. I want some skils...
ROBBIE, Age 8

Dear Santa,
...Please give my mom a diamond ring.
LINDSAY, First Grade

Dear Santa,
...My Dad wants a fake car.
AMY JOHANN

Dear Santa,
...I want a pair of numchucks because I never had a pair of numchucks.
JAMES SINCLAIR, Age 6

Dear Santa,
I have been a little bad this year...
CHARITY, Age 8

Dear Santa,
...Why do you always wear a red suit? Why can't you wear a green one or something? I get sick of the red one...
KATIE THOMAS, Age 8

Dear Santa,
...Put coal in my brothers stocking. I'm joking. But he does beat me up...
BRET MILLER

Dear Santa,
I have been very good... Do you eat jelly beans?... Do you have a special menu for the week? ...May I please have a Power Wheel? The Power Wheel I want is a Barbie Corvette because I want to drive at a young age.
It was a pleasure meeting you.
WHITNEY HOLCOMB, Age 6

This is MY FAVORITE confession of them all, mostly because it's about my friend, Melissa (Asper) Frantz:

Dear Santa,
...Did you know Shane has a girlfriend. Her name is Melissa Asper. Shane whants to give her a kiss. And he whants to merry her to when he is ten years old.
ANDREA

So funny! I hope Melissa reads that. Now, pay close attention to the connection between the next two letters, and the funny request in the second one:

Dear Santa,
...Do you know what I want for Christmas? I will tell you. I want a Bo Jackson t-shirt and Devlin to get out of my class. And I might even want a ramot control electric train. Well anything that you can find except girl stuff and baby stuff
DARIN TOMLINSON, Age 9

Dear Santa,
What Devlin wants: 1. a TV, 2. a set of Legos, 3. Baseball cards; 4. a turtle; 5. shredder, 6. beter grads, 7. More recikling for the wrold. (Translation: More recycling for the world.)
DEVLIN, Age 9

And finally, things that are just plain sweet:

Dear Santa,
I want bikes for all the kids in the world.
TRAIS, First Grade

Dear Santa,
...I hope that all of the poor people will not have a cold Christmas. Is there anything you can do?...
PAUL

Dear Santa,
...I wont to get a mouse. And a tifoon becaus it gos on water and land. I want a tertel butt most of all I want you to do me a faver, giv the children in the Childrens Vileg the best Christmas in the woreld. I know this is the right thing to do. This is the reel Christmas splaret. I hope you will.
P.S. You don't have to get me a mouse.
ADAM REBECK, Age 8

Dear Santa,
I really want a snow board for Christmas if you can carry some thing that big on your sleigh. But actually, I guess you already have my present. I am a Coeur d'Alene Press carrier and my boss told me I don't have to deliver papers on Christmas morning. I'll bet that's because you are doing it during the night right? Thanks Santa. You don't have to get me anything if you don't want to. If you deliver my papers, that's good enough.
GRAHAM BURRAGE, Age 10

Dear Santa,
I love you. Please give the poor people who have no food some to eat.
MARSHALL, First Grade

Dear Santa,
...Please give most of the gifts to the poor people! I'd very much like the poor people to be happy insted of me wanting so many gifts and getting them all...
KELSEY L. FOWLER

Dear Santa,
Love is for everybody!...
LYLE, First Grade

Dear Santa,
...I wish there was peace around the world...
ERIC HENNINGER, Age 8

Dear Santa,
I wod take anething you wod give me but I riley wish that I cod cudle the wrld with love!
HARMONY, First Grade

Dear Santa,
I would take love!
JEREMY

Dear Santa,
...Bring the soldiers home. We love tham and we love you.
ANN DOUGLAS, First Grade

Dear Santa,
I hope you can read this cause it's real important.
I want three things for Christmas. The first one is peace with Iraq. I have friends serving there, and lots of other people have relatives there, too.
The second one is for patience. My brother is 7, and I'm pretty mean to him sometimes.
The third, and last, but definitely not the least is for my friend Kay, a real good friend of my aunts. Kay's got cancer. I like her a lot, so if you can, could you make her better? If you can't, I understand.
P.S. I've been pretty good this year.
Your Friend, SARAH BRAY

Dear Santa,
I have some toys. I have friends. You are one of them...
JUSTIN McMILLAN, Age 7

Dear Santa,
I know that you are veri, veri bizi. Momm said that I would writ you. Momm and Dadd said that something cald the resisin (recession?) may mean that you won't come this year. I am sorre that you are sick, guess we don't need very much, so stay home and get better. I savid 2 dollrs. Now I can buy Something for evrybody, Mommy, Daddey, Tiphany and Heather. Merry Christmas. P.S. Get well soon from me.
CRYSTAL MARTINEZ, Age 6

Dear Santa,
...The one thing that I would like is a Bible...
SARAH LONG, Age 7

Dear Santa,
...I would also love an ice cream maker, a tea set, and dolly with hair you can cut, cus Mom said it is not okay to cut my little sisters hair!...
KRISTI KUHN, Age 5

Dear Santa,
Do you know what I like about Christmas? What I like about Christmas is that everyone likes to give and everyone is in the giving spirit.
Here is a wish that I'am sure you'll like; My wish is that every girl, boy, Mom, Dad and everyone gets a least one Christmas present. I wish that because last year my dad died. I miss him a lot. My dad had three different kinds of cancer... My dad was only 33. Because my dad died close to Christmas we got a lot of toys and things and that's why I want that wish to come true because I want everyone to have a good Christmas.
P.S. Please try to grant my wish.
DAVID CARLTON TEMPLE

Dear Santa,
I know you have been in the hospital and I hope you get out soon. I want you to get better by Christmas. I fell so sorry for all the children that don't have any homes or warm clothes or anouf to eat. My mom reads to me about them in the press every morning. If you hav any presents for me please give them to the homeless so they will have a better Cristmas.
I love you Santa...
KELLI O'HARA, Age 9

What beautiful, sweet reminders to us of the joyous, funny, honest time of life we call childhood. May we all remember this sweetness and hope this holiday season and all year long.

Merry Christmas.